also add an egg most slutty

I came home today around 4 to realize that I had no real ‘dinner-type’ food in the house; that category of food which you would qualify as being hearty like a firm cross-section of ham or a rotund turkey that has been basted in essential juices for a number of hours. Instead I made the fuck out of some pancakes, seeing as how they need only few ingredients to actualize. Do you want to know the secret to making awesome pancakes? Good because I am going to tell you:

The secret is talking really nasty to the dollops of batter as they are cooking. Saying shit like, “I bet you can’t wait to be slathered in butter and sticky syrup. You love being sticky don’t you? Yeah, you’re such a dirty, dirty flapjack” will ensure they come out fluffy and delicious.

Also the pan should be hot enough that it burns you severely when touched.